Image: Turquoise of Nishapur - village of Ma'dan, Iran; photo by Sonia Sevilla, Wikimedia Commons
Researchers keep saying we’re lonelier than ever. We’re spending record amounts of time alone. We are overwhelmed, stressed, and teetering on the brink of collapse. I feel that sometimes, but in rocks, I found an answer, a community.
Often, we see community as the group we curate with dedication and pride. They think like us, share our culture, blood, or values. If anybody dare tread on the fragile boundaries of our existence, the fences fall, and we retreat to the small inner circles we cultivate within those communities, a safe space where we feel vindicated and remain unchallenged. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Vista Gem & Mineral started selling mystery boxes for rock lovers and their loved ones. As anticipated, people loved them because they are fun and informative. What we didn’t anticipate was the time that we’d pour into picking, packing, shipping, and cultivating a collection of minerals for the hungry minds of our audience. We called for volunteers, and a veritable army of ladies showed up to help and support.
Our first meeting was a disaster. Most couldn’t identify all the minerals, not everybody had time management skills, and there was no way to grab attention without yelling. We spent more time fixing the boxes than putting them together. I almost gave up on asking for help entirely. Thankfully, we tried again.
Things went much more smoothly. There were hiccups, of course. This time, to combat the chaos, we created structure. Lots of labels, lots of organization, and clear, easy directions changed everything. Suddenly, there was ease amongst all, grace for the inexperienced, and a steady momentum that shifted the dynamic. There were still mistakes, still tension, but now we were invested.
Third time, it clicked. The oldest member was in her eighties, the youngest, in her twenties. Somehow, we still found so much to talk about. We found commonalities in food, music, travel, stress, and so much more. I watched people open up. Not every contribution was received well. Not every joke got a laugh and were open enough to talk about it. But there was no shame, just authenticity.
Months later, I stood with them, pizza in hand, listening to stories and laughter. I’d found a community. Not exactly best friends but still people I care about. People with stories and worries and families they carry in every step. I don’t shut them out at comments that don’t align with my values. I don’t want to. I learn, I listen, and I grow with every gathering, and they hold space to do the same. I feel seen and heard.
Community can be cultivated anywhere. Community doesn’t have to be people who think and act like us. It’s enough to have common goals and kindness. If you’re one of the millions feeling the sting of loneliness, find something to volunteer for. Find a cause that feeds your fire. Odds are there are folks there who share your passion. Life’s too short to seek perfection; instead, seek authenticity. Seek people who are themselves wholeheartedly and who encourage you to be your most true self, even if you aren’t anything like them. We don’t need to be alone; we just need to be kind and a little patient.
